On June 29th Bill Haming pulled together his life savings in order to get the new sleek gadget from Apple, the iPhone. He calculated in Quicken that he would be afford the 600 dollars, however there was a mistake which eventually caused him to become homeless.
We got a chance to talk to him next to the dumpster, on corner of 5th and Mission ST. “I downloaded a pirated copy of Quicken, a finical aid program, off PirateBay, and when I installed it, I realized that the software was in Hungarian. I figured it would be no problem considering
I’m dealing with numbers, however I’m now somehow homeless.” shares Bill. When asked about what he thinks he did wrong, he said he probably should have downloaded an Hungarian to English translator. The RIAA commented that piracy can have many horrible effects such as becoming a hobo, the RIAA was then informed that no music piracy had taken place. We asked Bill whether or not he regrets buying the phone. “Best purchase I ever made, I can check the weather on the phone. If my phone tells me its going rain, I’m going run into the closest Wal-Mart, and If I know it’s to be warm outside, I’ll sell overpriced water-bottles, which people will buy from me because I’m a homeless man and they’ll feel sorry for me. To farther convince them to give me there spare change
, I’ll sing Jesus Loves You All, even though I’m really agnostic. I’m willing to go that far for some cash.”
When asked about if he is worried about his public image he simply stated, “No, I mean it can’t be any worse than Linsey Lohan.” We wanted Lohan to make a comment but she was too drunk to make complete sentences. Apple made a statement earlier today, “Our user base is so loyal that they’ll give up anything to have our products, their kids, homes, college funds; only World of Warcraft is ahead of us now. When users die of lack of sleeping or food because our products are that darn good, we know we reached our goal.” Apple stock soared after the announcement. <
1 Comment
February 6, 2008 at 6:34 pm
best post EVER.